Split Ender - Dictated by Dr. James "Dorothy" Johnson, PhD Disclaimer: He is not a certified physician. - Typed by Josiah "Toto" Johnson

It was an ordinary day. I was working as a double-agent for Blockbuster. There I was, working cashier position at Family Video. My mission was to sabotage their operation, making more people buy and rent from Blockbuster. The first customer of the day walked inside the store. "LEAVE!!" I yelled. "GO BUY OR RENT FROM FAMILY VIDEO!! WE DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY!!" He simply stood staring at me. So, I took necessary actions by throwing my carrying brick at him. He was knocked down, but he didn't leave. Naturally, I threw a kindergartner at him. (This time I was carrying one. He's a small one.) Now he left, but he stole my brick. "Hey!" I screamed. "That's my brick!!" I pursued in a sprint. That was my brick. He jumped in his truck and peeled out of the parking lot, so I jumped on the tailgate. He took a sharp turn, and I flew off of the truck, but I caught myself on the back of another guy's motorcycle, so I simultaneously flipped him over my back onto the back seat and scooted into the front seat. I was in hot pursuit of the truck. He ran into a wall, then began to escape on foot, so I followed on the bike. It wasn't long before I caught up, but he leaped over a fence. I stopped the bike, jumped off, climbed the fence, then pulled out my Rambo knife and followed. I was in between 5 and 7 yards from him at all times for about 3 minutes, going through twist, turns, and bends. He ran into his house and locked the door, but I Rambo knifed my way into his dwelling. He was terrified, so I simply said, "Hand me the brick and nobody dies." He gave me the brick, but I broke my promise. I didn't harm him, but I accidentally stepped on a bug on my way out.