PedEgg - Dictated by Dr. James "Thats Mine" Johnson, PhD Disclaimer: He is not a certified physician. - Typed by Josiah "Just Give It Here" Johnson

Yesterday's post probably left more questions than answers. Let's leave it that way. Instead of continuing from Yesterday, I'll move on to another story. One that is perfectly true, as yesterday's was. So there I was, sitting on a metal bench suspended by chains and hinges on the wall behind me. I was inside one of Underworld's many State Penitentiaries. I was framed for stealing a tortilla chip. Needless to say, I was in for life. I had been planning an escape for about 3 years, now. This day, I was ready. For the last 3 weeks, I had been making string from the hair plucked from my head, and I crafted a yoyo from dirt, dust, and a little liquid from the drinks I had with meals. I had been pounding this material together and letting it sit in the window to catch some sun during daylight hours. I fashioned the yoyo's body by pounding the material together. Once the yoyo body had been constructed, I wrapped the hair-based string around the body. I hid it in my sleeve. When a guard went by, I swiftly smacked him with the yoyo right in between the eyes. He was out for the count. I dropped my makeshift weapon and grabbed his top of the line yoyo. It was made with a notched titanium body and a nylon-RTV mixture. (RTV is rubber with sulfur in it, which is used to make tires.) The yoyo is the XCB-736 model from Krulonk Yoyos, the king of police and military grade yoyos. This was not a standard issue weapon. This cop had spent years gathering money from his practically maximum-wage (they have that in the Underworld) job, and he had gotten it taken with one swift hit from my shameful piece. You can't buy alertness. I grabbed his keys and strapped his holster to my belt. I put the XCB-736 away, unlocked the cell, and left. I had to be quiet, fast, and crafty to get by the guards. I neared a corner when I heard footsteps. I stopped at the corner. A guard came around and, startled, went for his weapon. His reaction timing was a tad low. I got him square in the chest with my XCB-736. Besides, his mediocre standard issue BBG-235 produced by Underworld Industries would have been no match if he could have drawn it. I lurked around the building, taking shortcuts and alternatives paths to escape the grounds. As I neared the front gate, two guards at the gate had their weapons already drawn. I struck one in the chin with an upper cut from my XCB-736, but the other got me in the arm. I was lucky. I was only wounded. I couldn't use my right arm, so I grabbed the yoyo with my left. I dodged another swing from him. I struck him right in the leg. He dropped his yoyo in pain. I used that to my advantage and got him right in the forehead. I ran right out the gate, hopped in a prison transport bus, and started it with a uniform vehicle ignition key given to every officer. I rammed down the fence and drove away. I glanced in the mirror to find myself being pursued by an army of pursuit cars. I turned onto the Interstate and weaved through traffic. After a minute, I left the highway, crossed a bridge over it, and drove into the Underworld suburbs. I drove the bus into a high school gymnasium, then ran out of the school and hitched a ride on a city bus to get into another suburb. I got off and walked into a sandwich shop. I sat in a booth. I felt somebody breathing down my neck, so I turned around. There he was. The sombrero vendor. In a daze. He punched me in the nose, but I quickly got a yoyo shot to his foot. He was on the floor. I, then, apologized for my prior rudeness and imbursed him for the hats, in Japanese yen as he wanted. He was very pleased. He, then, told me, "Now that we're friends and all, I can admit something to you." He continued in a whisper, "I stole a tortilla chip about 3 years ago. Some sucker got charged instead, he was sent to prison." I was angry. This meant that he had put me in prison. I punched him in the nose, struck him repeatedly in the legs with the yoyo, and grabbed his belongings. As I started away from the store, I looked at him on the floor and realized, he had been wearing a tunic all along. Had I not learned anything from Land of the Lost?