Today we're going to tell you about Lucky Timmy. This was an assignment Josiah had for school, and I don't feel like listing every parameter, but the just of it is Timmy has to have two broken legs, fall into a well, and either get out of the well or die. He can't use any tools, people, animals, ghosts, or spirits to help. So here is the assignment:
Lucky Timmy, as his friends called him, was crawling to the hospital, with his two broken legs. He was heading to the emergency room to treat his stomach ulcer and brain hemorrhage. It was the middle of the night in freezing rain. Timmy had been crawling along for hours now. He started losing strength in his arms when he heard his schizophrenic voice, Kyle, who sounded just like James Earl Jones, say, "Timmy, I'm thirsty!" "Well, what do you expect me to do about it," cried Timmy, "In case you haven't noticed, I'm a little busy at the moment, Kyle!" Timmy's conscience, Jimothy, piped in, "Kyle, could you keep it down? I'm still trying to evaluate Timmy's life choices that lead him to this situation. By the way, Kyle, the majority of us subconscious beings are hungry, not thirsty." "Shut your yap, Jimothy," retorted Kyle. Timmy, eager to resolve this feud before it resulted in a subconscious fist fight, said, "Alright, Kyle. There's a well over yonder. I'll crawl over there and get you something to drink." So Timmy picked his torso up again and began to crawl towards the well, already developing hypothermia due to the freezing rain. Timmy's life sucks. Finally, Timmy reached the well. He hoisted himself up using the last of his upper body strength. Unfortunately (I'll bet you didn't see that coming), the well was slippery due to the rain, and Timmy plummeted into the well and face planted at the bottom, well below the surface of the water. Timmy was dazed and eventually regained consciousness underwater. He was in agony all over his body, but he specifically noticed that the top of his head was freezing. Timmy climbed the rocks with his hands because he could not swim well. Finally, he reached the surface. He looked up and could barely glimpse the top of the well. He felt something dripping down his face and realized the freezing he had felt underwater was due to the large open gash in the top of his head that he must have sustained when he face planted. Timmy began to wonder how he still had enough blood or physical energy in his body to actually be alive at this point, but he quickly shoved the irrelevant thought out of his head. He had more important things to worry about. After several minutes of silent recovery, Kyle broke the silence. "You know, on second thought, I'm not really thirsty anymore, Timmy. We can leave now." "Kyle...I hate you," replied Timmy. "How many times have I told you to stop listening to him," said Jimothy. "Would you guys be quiet so I can think," yelled Timmy. He began to look for something to grab onto to pull himself out of the well. Timmy grabbed the first rock, tightened his grip, and began to climb. It took him a few minutes, but he eventually got himself high enough that he was out of the water -still in the freezing rain - but out of the water. Timmy was gaining confidence in himself. It wasn't very often that one of his plans succeeded...obviously. Suddenly, one of the rocks he was holding onto broke loose from the wall, and Timmy plummeted back into the water, again smashing his head on the rocks. "You're pretty much screwed," said Kyle. "I'm hungry, Timmy," said Jimothy. In sudden blind fury, Timmy took the rock and threw it as hard as he could against the well. Unfortunately, it ricocheted and hit Timmy's skull. The rock hit with such force that it caused the brain tumor to explode and his stomach ulcer went erratic. "You should have been on the baseball team," said Kyle, cheerfully. These were the last words that Lucky Timmy ever heard.
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